Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. (Psalm 73:25 NAS95)
When I trusted Jesus for my salvation, I wanted simply to avoid hell. My thoughts concerned me and my eternal destiny. I definitely wanted to avoid hell. I knew I had sinned, and I knew I needed forgiveness and reconciliation with God. Yet at that time reconciliation and an ongoing abiding relationship of love with God did not compute.
At the same time, I had a hunger for God’s Word and I devoured it. The person who discipled me early on taught me to spend time daily with God, in prayer and His Word. While I still struggled with what it means to have a relationship with God, ever since then, I developed a daily discipline of prayer and scripture.
As things progressed, God started to call my attention to Himself, and communication with Him started to take on a different meaning. God worked to develop His relationship with me, and changes in the way we engaged each other took place. None of this went at a fast pace, but rather slow. At some point, I noticed God leading me, shaping my prayer, its spontaneity, its feel, and my desire for it. The Word, as I read it, started offering me much more insight into my need for transformation, but in a way I felt drawn to invite God in for the needed heart change.
Later, I noticed that “discipline” no longer held sway over whether I took time with God, or whether I prayed on the fly in life, or whether I meditated on His Word while running an errand. Things just happened. Something changed deep. My relationship with God had much more interaction in the day. My desire for God grew and continued to grow.
In no way do I think I did this. God caused me to appreciate, actually love, His input in my life and its circumstance. He, while always real, felt very real, very present, and very personal. No matter what the topic, His approach was gentle, kind, revealing, and insightful. Even correction felt like a blessing. God is good, and I experience Him as exceeding the definition of good.
That’s when my awareness took note, that I desire God for being God. Not for me, but for who He really is and how much I value Him. Now I desire God. Desire has replaced discipline in my ongoing walk with our Triune Lord.
For Reflection:
“When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You, “Your face, O LORD, I shall seek.”” (Psalm 27:8 NAS95)
- What have you noticed about your desire for God?
- As you seek God in this season of life, what do you notice Him calling to your attention to and reminding you of?
