“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24 NAS95)
Deny himself? How can I escape the cost? Those thoughts crossed my mind when I first read this passage. Yet God kept me in conversation around these words through most of my journey with Him. Today, I must say, He has shaped my thinking much differently.
Early on, I heard this as “stop doing” what brings pleasure in my life. This quickly translated into a whole set of “don’ts.” Legalism abounded in my life as did judging, fear, anger, and frustration — the things that lay under the legalism, providing it support. Sooner, rather than later, God started speaking through the negative emotions letting me know that pathway has nothing to do with His call. Sure, I stopped doing some things that had harmful impact on my life and relationships, and that had benefit. Yet, it clearly missed the goal of God’s invitation to experience His love in Christ.
As I continued interacting with God, I began to see a different way, a pathway that leads to life. Keeping what I wanted as primary, causes me to lose out on God, others, and life. Pursuing God’s desires had the exact opposite impact. God had allowed me to notice that in my third year of college. As I stepped into obedience, to listening and following the Spirit’s promptings in accordance with God’s Word, my life and practice took on a richer, more meaningful experience.
“Not doing” ceased to be the point. Following Jesus and interacting with Him provided a positive trajectory toward learning love and to love. What I initially thought was a sacrificial idea, really became the pathway to life. Death and dying to my self-will meant responsiveness to God grew, and contentment in all circumstances covered me in peace.
Today, in my continued conversation with God, I still do some impulsive things, but more and more He draws me to consider Him first. I often talk to God as I step into tasks and conversations. Even as I write, I am praying. Denying self now means life. Literally! I should have known Jesus only asks for what provides the best. Life thrives through death to self. I know of no other way that provides the joy of which Jesus speaks and desires us to have. I’m grateful God kept engaging with me. What I formerly considered a great cost has only become a great gain!
For Reflection:
“Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22 NAS95)
- How much do you consider God in your everyday activities? What helps you reflect on Him?
- How do you work on noticing God’s promptings and interactions with you? What spiritual disciplines help you in living responsively to Him?
